Why won’t Sonic and Amy get married?

You seriously asked that?

Seriously?

I have a multitude of reasons for you.

  1. Sonic isn’t a damn romance novel.
  2. “Sonic Rose” does NOT have very much of a ring to it at all.  (Sonic has no last name, merely a title, so the only option left is to use the woman’s last name.)
  3. Sonic can’t make contact with the wedding ring without simply absorbing it.
  4. Sonic would probably be an extremely irresponsible father.  I know marriage does not necessarily equal children, however, I can obviously tell Amy’s the kind of girl that would try to have at least twelve crappy fancharacters babies.
  5. Tails would go batshit insane and strap bombs to his chest before he let such a thing happen.
  6. Sonic is a man-whore. (Video proof coming… eventually.  No, not THAT kind of video proof.  Get your mind out of the gutter.)
  7. Sonic living with anybody is simply not happening.  He needs his alone time sleeping on the roof.
  8. Some marriages have problems with a husband beating his wife. This one would have problems with the wife beating her husband.
  9. Let’s face it, Sonic spends approximately 102% of his time saving the universe.  The wedding would probably be interrupted by some giant space-monster trying to devour the planet or some crazy stuff like that.
  10. And finally, it’s simply not meant to happen.  Sonic agreeing to such a thing would be whole worlds out of character, unless he was extremely mind-controlled, drunk, high and brain damaged, (Oh wait, he has no brain.) and he’s not turning 21 until Jun 23rd 2012 (God help us all when he does though, a drunken Sonic will be extremely dangerous…)
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About Skippy Electrochomp

Hello, I am Skippy Electrochomp, and I live in... Wait a second, why the hell do you want to know?
This entry was posted in Sonic Answers and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Why won’t Sonic and Amy get married?

  1. Skippy Electrochomp says:

    Your answer is definitely the best answer for this question.

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