Sonic Quote of the Month: January 2011

Yeah, I almost forgot.


-Several characters

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Why does Rouge shave her boobs?

(Asked by Raxz)

Wow, another easy question.
Who the hell wouldn’t want to look at Rouge’s boobs? She’s a fucking porn website with legs and 100% uptime. I bet you a million Internets even some females are attracted by her big frickin boobs. So I’d guess Rouge is just making more excuses to look at those big things by shaving her boobs.

(I’m not posting any images here, sorry. It’d probably get this blog flagged for porn xD)

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Miles Prower invented STDs

Okay, so we all know Tails is a perverted rapist. He’s also a boy genius. Now here’s something else you should notice — STD stands for Something Tails Did.

So, if you did something naughty and something bad happened to you, the original blame can always be traced back to Miles.  Even if he was never involved.

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How can I stop Amy from being so pissy all the time?

(Asked by Sonic the Hedgehog)

Oh please, you already know the answer to this one.  You have to give her what she wants.

If you’re not willing to do that, she’ll probably cave your skull in with a hammer so I don’t think there’s much choice here. I recommend you chain yourself to the bed with your light-refracting underwear off and claim it was rape.

Or, you could put up with her trying to kill Tails, seduce you, make Knuckles her bitch, brutally murder any other woman that’s so much as seen with you, stalk you everywhere you go, annoy the living crap out of Silver, hug Shadow accidentally due to her colorblindness, etc., all on a daily basis.

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Have you ever caught Tails looking for/at young female foxes?

(Asked by Skippy Electrochomp)

Tsch… I’d be lying if I said I haven’t noticed his tastes are a bit inter-racial.  I’ve caught him looking at plant porn, staring at Cream in a weird way, and “accidentally” humping both human and Mobian girls on multiple occasions. But it’s never another fox.

I have to say something Sonic-y to keep this article in character, so here goes:  Blahh eggman sucks blah.. hurry up blahhh…   nbhgyvtyn

AHH! I’M A WEREHOG AGAIN!  What… oh.  Phew.  It was just a dream, just a dream…

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Finally, I don’t have to deal with that mother fuckin’ cunt bitchin’ god damn fourth retarded ESRB censorship bullshit!


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Have your questions answered by the Blue Blur himself!

In case you haven’t noticed, Sonic the Hedgehog has joined our empire legion cult mafia mob gang team of administrators here at

I swear to Batman, it’s not a phony account!

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Sonic Quote of the Month: November 2010

This is how Sonic fans actually think.

-Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Colors

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Sonic the Hedgehog was descended from angels.

Haven’t you noticed how Sonic is pretty much undefeatable? You have a 0% chance of beating him, even if you’re freakin’ Chuck Norris.

This brings me to a conclusion — Sonic must have a guardian angel… No, he IS a guardian angel. Or at least his father was. What an angel was doing having sex with a hedgehog and getting her pregnant I have no idea, but unfortunately Sonic didn’t inherit the wings, so to substitute for being unable to fly he had to hire a two-tailed fox as a servant best friend to carry him around everywhere.

This theory explains a few things — how Sonic is immortal and never ages past the age he wants to be, for example.  He’s technically been 15 since 1991!

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Sonic Quote of the Month: December 2010

“You know how the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris?  Chuck Norris checks his closet for Sonic.”

-Skippy Electrochomp

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